why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
