Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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