he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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