GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize