Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
