You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
