don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
