Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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