i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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