why didn't you poke me back
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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