come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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