i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize
