I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
