you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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