we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
