that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize