brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
