I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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