i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
