So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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