I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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