But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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