i don't like sucking hair
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
