Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
