Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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