I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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