i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
