Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize