you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
