16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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