oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
