she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
