We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
