a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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