btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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