I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
