My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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