Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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