You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
