i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
