The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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