I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize