Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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