he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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