how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
did you just send me my own nude
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
