i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
