I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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