dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
