everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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