do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
