what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
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