How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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