Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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