I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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