You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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