and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
