Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize