Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
