drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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