Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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