absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Two words: nipple clamps
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