I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize