I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
