He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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