I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
