After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
