Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
