your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize