He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
