i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
