You made me cry and you don't even care
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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