just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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