If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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