I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
