If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
handjob tips. give me some.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
