the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
