I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
