Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
