does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize