Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize